That's the way, uhuh, uhuh, we like it...

Talking of Live8 and the Make Poverty History bandwagon (Dan 6/6/5) it's certainly fitting that our response to development in Africa is to put on a pop concert and wear a rubber band.

After all, wasn't it singing hymns and wearing symbols of suffering we first encountered Africa, simultaneously saving souls and grabbing everything we could get our hands on?

Now celebrity is the new religion off we go again, bent on saving those poor, corrupt Africans with a nice sing-a-long while continuing to live off the fruits of their labour, like the people in the clouds in Fritz Lang's Metropolis. Coffee anyone?

And that's just the way we like it - throwing money at a situation we've manufactured so it can be mismanaged by elites who are simply continuing the corrupt colonial practices they inherited, thereby affirming our prejudices, expiating our guilt, and perpetuating the problem.

Africa doesn't need aid. In fact, it's the very last thing it needs: better to put a stop to the lot this minute.

What it needs is what we needed: the chance to protect its fledgling economies until they are ready to compete and to enjoy unfettered access to countries like our own.

Now that would really help repay our debt to Africa - unrestricted trade and immigration.

And would that really be so bad? Well, you might have to pay a bit more for your cuppa but at least you wouldn't face the prospect of opening your door to be told you've got five minutes to grab your belongings before being evicted, and about this "God" of yours....