Yasar Halim's DJ Bakery

Having slagged off the gentrification of the East End (18/05/05) I now read the fashionistas have finally discovered the intrinsic coolness of my own manor.

I wondered what the film crews were up to. Will Harringay become the next Hoxton? Will upper-crust types ditch the mockney and start sporting bushy moustaches? Japanese girls randomly highlight their hair, fit nail extentions and pull on electric pink boob tubes emblazoned with the number 69?

I can't see it myself. While the whole cockney thing had a kind of accessibility to it - the edgy working class cache middle class youth aspires to - I suspect the near-eastern culture of these parts would not prove quite as accessible.

Having said that, you could still get trendsetters attracted by the area's "Kurdish Cool" (did I just write that?)... and so house-prices climb, the first Cafe Nero opens, the grocery stores are gradually replaced by boutiques and specialist record shops, their merchandise displayed along the street in homage to the "Nouveau Souk" look that has become all the rage, until finally the legendary Yasar Halim himself hands over his keys to Marcus and mates with their plans to open "Yasar Halim's", a DJ Bakery...

Well, it could happen.